The genital kind.
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For what it’s worth, something like 1 in 4 adults have it. Most don’t even know.
I think I’ve had two outbreaks before this third one. I can see why someone wouldn’t know. It just looks like a patch of ingrown hairs. Doesn’t really hurt or itch very much. I wrote it off until someone contacted me. (I’m in the States, I’m not going to the doctor unless I’m about to die - I do test for all of the other things regularly because that can be done OTC or free sometimes.)
I had a partner with genital HSV-1. YMMV, but in general:
- No BFD; the stigma of HSV is the result of a marketing campaign in the 70s (not 100% on the date) by a company selling HSV treatments
- Be honest and inform your prospective partners; yeah, some people who haven’t done the reading are going to react negatively
- Antiviral treatments are available; the one my partner was a daily pill
- In eight years of unprotected sex with her, she never had an outbreak and I test negative
- You may never have another outbreak, you may have regular flare-ups, or something in between
- Talk to your doctor and any take all of my previous comments like the Internet rumor it is
Some people have more outbreaks and more painful outbreaks than others. It’s helpful to take an antiviral that suppresses the outbreaks. When there are no outbreaks, chances of transfer are low but not zero. It’s tends to be higher risk for the penetrated party rather than the one doing the penetrating. Since she never had an outbreak and the penetrated party is less likely to transfer, this may be why.
Frankly, though, like all viruses, long-term effects can be kind of scary, like the evidence of a correlation with higher rates of alzheimers and dementia in patients with HSV-I/HSV-II. Viruses do a lot of things to the body long-term that may not be readily obvious or related directly to the virus itself, much like human papillomavirus is correlated with higher instances of cervical cancer and throat cancer. Long-COVID is another example.
While transfer probability is low, it’s still valuable to try to stop transmission by using prophylactics.
Any advice, please, on how to deal with the overwhelm? I can feel depressed from any injury, and a contagious aspect makes it heavier.
Don’t blame yourself. Viral spread happens and even condoms aren’t 100% effective, depending on the area it is presenting in. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s something to be ashamed of. The shaming aspect of disease needs to stop, I would have thought we had learned that with HIV. Shame does nothing but harm the communities already affected by these problems, and the treatments get better and better all the time. While some aspects (like potential long-term effects) may be nerve-wracking, they are never a guarantee of that outcome, as there is only correlation and no specific proven causation (that I know of).
The common cold is a virus. Viruses are trickier than bacteria in some ways. The main thing is to remind yourself that while you may have made mistakes, the existence and spread of viruses is not entirely your fault. It is nothing to be ashamed of and anyone pushing shame on you for it is not worth associating with. It would be like someone shaming me for having cancer. It’s absurd.
It may take time to come to terms with and work through your depression, and it may help to talk to a therapist who is familiar with the virus and the shame-culture built around it. The first poster in this thread is right on the money that the stigma came from an advertising campaign promoting antivirals for it. Which, if you are insured, the antivirals are often covered. They will prescribe them based on the frequency and severity of outbreaks
Good luck!
Thank you. I’ve been flashing back to high school sex and feeling a little gross about myself, but your comment is really comforting.
I had a friend go through this; first of all, sorry that happened to you. My understanding is that if you take your anti-virals you’ll have a pretty normal life. The concept of sex is dicey, I understand when you’re not flaring up the risk is small, but it’s still there. They have a normal relationship but avoid sex in flare ups. Be sure to talk to your partners in advance!
I’m afraid we’ll have to amputate your foot
