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Cake day: July 9th, 2023

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  • I’ve heard this truism my whole life, and glibly repeated it myself at least a few times. But we must acknowledge that it expresses a morally defeatist attitude that poisons the person who actually lives by it.

    Instead you can reconcile kindness by being more observant. Some “good deeds” aren’t actually that good, since their extended effects amount to an unkindness to yourself or those you love.

    For example, let’s say someone asks you to donate to a just cause, or loan them some money in a difficult time. If doing so means your family goes hungry or can’t afford clothes, it might not be such a good deed after all.

    More subtle examples involve your time, such as helping someone by staying late at work, or spending hours listening to someone who really should get professional help instead.

    Ultimately, it’s not true that “no good deed goes unpunished,” but even if it were, it doesn’t matter, because helping people is its own reward.




  • Go camping together. Nothing fancy, just a weekend at a park with a small tent and backpacks.

    Let your team know you’ll be unreachable. Once there, phones off. No working. Just walk and talk, rest and eat, explore your surroundings, focus on what and who is in front of you.

    You may not sleep well on night 1, but you will on night 2, especially if you covered some ground that day. The morning after night 3, however, will be the most well-rested you’ve felt in a some time. The effect carries to subsequent nights, then eventually wears off, but can give you the chance to restructure your days for better sleep in the long term. Use as needed.











  • Most ducting in the dash of vehicles can be accessed with just a screwdriver, and there are usually only a handful of screws and plastic fasteners/snaps you have to remove. Downloading the diagram from a shop manual will show you where they are so you don’t have to find each of them, but it’s usually apparent in situ.

    If you don’t remove the ducts to clean them, while you may be able to lessen the smell by removing vent covers and snaking cleaning materials through the ductwork, your car will still always smell. The only way to get rid of the smell entirely is to remove the affected ducts and properly wash them.

    Before any if that, however: do you know which ducts are affected? It will reduce your workload considerably, especially if the affected duct is in fact your fresh air intake, as I would expect.

    The way I would determine that is to

    1. run the fan on high with recirculate ON and all windows open for several minutes, then
    2. sit inside and close the windows. Is the smell lessened from before?
    3. If so, confirm the diagnosis by turning recirculate off. If the smell suddenly gets stronger, it’s likely the rodent never made it past the blower manifold.

    In that case you’re in luck, as you may not need to disassemble the dash much at all. (You would be working mostly in the engine compartment and passenger footwell.)



  • You are you, and only you can say who that is, because gender is altogether just a collection of recognizable brands that are each subject to change from time to time and place to place.

    You can wear one of these brands now if it suits you, and still change your mind later if you feel like it, or confound the branding entirely by arranging your own style. It really is up to you.