cobysev

Yeah, I was pretty jaded by the end of my career. Couldn’t wait to retire, which is why I left as soon as I qualified for retirement. I served exactly 20 years and 6 days.

I only made it to Technical Sergeant (E-6), but it was my ideal rank. I had enough rank and authority to manage personnel and resources, but I was also the technical expert and could get down on the ground level and do the work alongside my Airmen and NCOs. All career fields operate differently, but my IT field specifically didn’t allow Senior NCOs to do the job. They were upper-management; they always got put behind a desk and made to do paperwork, pass down orders, and oversee projects.

I didn’t want that for myself, so I stopped trying to promote once I made TSgt. I expected I’d have to keep working once I retired, so I wanted to stay technical and keep my IT certifications and experience strong, so I could transition into a high-paying gig on the outside.

Little did I know that I’d earn that coveted 100% Permanent & Total disability rating. Now my medical and dental costs are covered for life and my monthly VA check is bigger than my pension, so I’m essentially making a little bit more money than when I was serving, just to sit on my ass all day. So… yeah, I’m enjoying that hard-earned freedom right now.

I served in the US military. I was in the Air Force, but my profession was IT, so I spent my whole service working as a sysadmin.

You can officially retire and collect a pension after only 20 years served. I joined at 18, so I retired at 38 years old. Normally, a 20-yr pension isn’t enough to fully retire on, but I got a bit messed up during my service. The VA gave me a 100% disability rating, which includes a monthly pay bigger than my pension! Plus. My wife also served and was medically discharged with a 100% disability rating as well. So she gets the same medical benefits and pay as I do (minus a pension).

With all three sources of passive income, we can live without working. We’re not rich by any stretch of the imagination, but we pull in enough to live comfortably and have all our basic needs met.

Like I said, I could go back into the IT field and double my current income (or more), but then I’d be stuck working all the time again, and I don’t want to do that. The military was a 24/7 gig for 20 years. “Service Before Self” was one of our core values; we always had to prioritize the mission over our personal lives, and we could be recalled to work any time, day or night. So it’s nice to actually have some “me time” now, where no one can make me go anywhere or do anything. Not looking to go back to work and give that up so soon.

I did work in IT, but now I’m retired young. I could go back to work and make double my income, but I just don’t wanna. I’d rather have less income with a stable, comfortable life and the freedom to do whatever I want every day, than spend all day stuck in a job just to have no free time to enjoy the extra money I’d be bringing home.

Retired at 38 and living childless with his wife in the countryside… What will he do with the rest of his life? #7 may surprise you.

I knew a guy when I served in the US military who got caught cheating in a semi-related way. He got assigned to a base in a new state and his wife refused to relocate their whole family for the few years he’d be assigned there, so he went by himself, leaving his wife and kids in his home state.

Turns out, he was sexting one of his younger subordinates at work. One of his daughters found out when she tried to use an old tablet and found out his account was still synced to it. She saw all his texts updating in real time.

He was ultra-conservative and didn’t believe in divorce, so he was doing everything he could to save his marriage. His wife forced him to install security cameras in every room of his apartment and banned him from going anywhere after work. She knew his schedule and expected him home immediately after work ended. He was basically on house arrest until his job was done and he could move home.

The last I heard, he told his wife the landlord needed to paint the walls, so he removed all the cameras, dunked them in the bathtub, then played dumb when none of them would work when he set them back up again. He was seen inviting young women over to his apartment after that. So, you know… he didn’t learn his lesson.

Electricity still needs a specifically built medium to pass through before it can form a consciousness, though. You can’t just send electricity through a tree and expect the tree to suddenly become conscious. Electricity is just a key ingredient of consciousness, not the full picture.

Bodies have neutral pathways that allow electricity to simulate consciousness if regulated properly. Same with computers and circuitry.

Yeah, that’s the one. Since I didn’t qualify for it, I didn’t pay much attention to it. They always just told us it’s kind of like a 401K, where you contribute up to a certain amount and the govt matches your contribution.

If you have a government job, pensions are still very much a thing.

I just retired from a government job 2 years ago (US military). I received a pension, but only because I was grandfathered into the old pension plan. The military stopped giving out pensions in 2017. They switched to the BRS (Basic Retirement System), which is basically their version of a 401K.

When they switched, they gave all service members with less than 12 years of service the option to switch to the BRS or stick with the old pension program. Anyone who joined after the switch doesn’t get a choice. They’re automatically enrolled in the BRS.

I had 15 years of service at the time, so I didn’t qualify for BRS. It wouldn’t have benefited me anyway; there’s no way I could’ve saved up enough money to retire on in my 5 remaining years. I much prefer my monthly direct deposit for the rest of my life.

Serious drift racers don’t do that. Yes, there is a subculture in Japan who loves to deck our their vehicles with body kits and LED lighting and heavy sounds systems. But mostly for show, not for racing.

I was comparing Tokyo Drift’s idea of Japanese drift racing with reality. That film is just Hollywood trying to make drifting look sexy and sleek. In reality, it’s just a bunch of nerds who find ways to shave every little ounce off their vehicles to improve results in their calculations and charts. Body kits, neon-colored lights, and beefy sound systems are just added weight.

I mean, throughout the course of the Fast & the Furious film franchise, the main characters go from illegal street racing punks to international spies, saving the world from global threats. So you really shouldn’t be looking to those films for any sense of reality anyway.

I actually prefer Lemmy because it’s less active. I browse Lemmy’s version of r/All and I have more than enough content to keep me entertained for hours. Plus, when I find a popular thread, I can actually contribute to it and my comments aren’t buried under 10K other comments within a few hours. I feel like I can actually communicate with the community here, instead of shouting into the void like on Reddit.

Initial D!

Also, that technique has no real-world application. The father told him to try and make the water spin in the cup instead of splashing back and forth. But that’s not possible just from driving a vehicle, no matter how you drift corners.

I lived in Japan back when that anime TV show was releasing, and I can tell you, it’s pure fantasy. Although it’s much closer to real Japanese street racing than that awful Tokyo Drift film. That film was basically American street racing with Japanese actors. Actual Japanese street racers are science, math, and physics nerds, pushing the boundaries of their cars for the fun of it. Not hardened gangsters or Yakuza wannabes, decking their cars out with neon lights and massive spoilers and body kits. Hollywood invented their own concept of drift racing for that film.

Healthy: Discussing and evaluating goals, dreams, desires, etc. and coming to a mutually beneficial agreement or understanding on a way forward.

Unhealthy: Being told your dreams/goals/desires/etc. are not reasonable and to give up on them (or change them to the benefit of your partner) for the sake of a continued relationship.

Yes, sometimes to do have to give up on a dream due to changing situations, and it sucks, but it should always be your decision. If someone gives you the ultimatum (choose me or your dreams), there’s no room for discussion or true compromise.

How long have you gone without being in a romantic relationship?

The first 13 years of my life

How much time have you spent being single?

The aforementioned 13 years, plus sporadic times in my teen years and early adult years. I’ve been in a relationship with my wife since I was 21.

If you’re currently single: is it by choice or circumstance?

N/A

Do you / did you enjoy single life?

Yes, to a certain degree.

What are / were the pros and cons?

Pros:

1.) I was in control of my own life. I could just decide to do something - anything - and then just do it.

2.) Didn’t have to keep track of finances. If money disappeared from my account, it was because I spent it.

3.) If opportunities to be intimate with someone arose, I could go with the flow and see where the night takes me. I didn’t have to commit to anyone if I didn’t want to.

Cons:

1.) Loneliness. No one to spend your time with.

2.) No one to bounce ideas off of, or introduce interesting plans or events into my life. It made planning for things harder, and encouraged me to be a lazy/messy couch potato instead of going out and being productive.

Is / was partnership a goal of yours?

Yes.

If you’re currently not single: Did your goals change after getting into a relationship?

Yes, relationships are compromise. Your goals will change. But it may be for the better or worse, depending on your partner.

What are the pros and cons?

Pros:

1.) No longer alone.

2.) I’ve been married to my best friend for 15 years, so every day is fun and exciting.

3.) My wife encourages me to get out and do stuff. I’ve been on trips across Europe, Asia, and America. I’ve been on 3 separate luxury cruise lines; one in the Mediterranean and two in the Caribbean. Without my wife, I would’ve just stayed home and missed out on all those life experiences.

4.) I have shared hobbies with my wife, so I always have a partner for the fun things I want to do.

5.) We also have separate hobbies, so when one of us needs alone time, we both can focus on something we want to do without the other for a while.

6.) We’re more productive together. Alone, we’d just veg out and watch TV or doom scroll the Internet. But together, we can discuss various topics and explore new and fun things together.

7.) Getting laid is easy (unless you’re partner makes it difficult). No more prowling clubs/bars or dating apps and settling for someone just to get your rocks off. You have a willing partner at home who, if you’re in a healthy relationship, should be willing to get down with you most anytime. And you know their sexual history, so no worrying about getting an STI or something.

8.) If you’re in a healthy relationship, you have someone who you can truly be yourself around. You won’t need to put on a mask and pretend to be someone you’re not. It’s quite liberating to have someone who sees you at your worst in the privacy of your own home and still wants to be with you.

Cons:

1.) Every major decision needs to be audited by my partner. I can’t just decide to do something; I need to run it by my wife first. I’m in a healthy relationship, so I can just decide to do stuff on my own all the time and it’s not a big deal. But my relationship is also healthy because I include my wife in my planning, even if she’s not going to be involved. I don’t just run off to “hang out with the boys.” I give her opportunities to be involved, and if she chooses to stay at home instead of come out with me, that’s totally her decision. Or if she needs a night in with me, I cancel plans to spend time with her. I spend enough time with her that it’s not a big deal if I want to go do something on my own every now and then.

2.) I’m legally committed to this relationship (marriage), so if a better opportunity for a relationship comes along, I can’t just see where it takes me. My options are to cheat, or go through a lengthy divorce process before proceeding. Or do nothing and remain loyal to my spouse. It’s too risky/costly to attempt the first two, so I just don’t bother looking for other opportunities. I vowed to be loyal, so unless my wife makes my life a living nightmare, I’m sticking with her until the end.

3.) Aligning life goals can be difficult if you didn’t talk it out before committing to a serious relationship. And in the early years of a relationship, who wants to discuss the rest of your life together? It’s easy to get invested in someone whose life plans don’t match up with yours. So you have to live with compromise. Some dreams, you have to give up. Same goes for your partner.

4.) Unless your partner is responsible with finances, expect to have trouble keeping track of your money. Or just maintain separate bank accounts. Hopefully your partner isn’t a golddigger. My wife cares more about spending time with me than spending my money, so we have a healthy relationship. And there’s nothing wrong with spending money on someone you love. But if it seems like your partner only cares about your money and will leave you if/when the money dries up, it’s better to leave that relationship as soon as possible.

5.) Relationships are a gamble. You never know if it’s going to go smoothly, or if your partner is just using you for something until a better opportunity passes by. Hopefully you have a healthy relationship, and the cornerstone to that is trust and communication. But there are always master manipulators out there who will convince you that you need to stay in a relationship with them, even if it doesn’t make you happy. They’ll convince you that being lonely is worse than being in a broken/abusive relationship. If your partner starts isolating you from friends/family and doesn’t let you make decisions, you’re in an abusive relationship and need to get out immediately!

As a Midwesterner, Marcus Theatres are my go-to.

It used to be a regular, boring theater when I was a teenager. Get popcorn, candy, and/or soda and sit in a slightly cushioned fold-down seat. But I left home for nearly a decade, and when I came back, I was surprised to discover I could order a full meal from my seat and have it delivered to me while I watched my movie.

Not to mention, the uncomfortable chairs with the fold-down seats were replaced with actual reclining lounge chairs. They come in pairs, so when I go see a movie with my wife, we can lift the arm rest between our seats and cuddle while watching.

I don’t drink, but a highlight for my wife is the bar in the lobby, where she can get a nice mixed drink to take into the theater. I’m personally glad for more food options besides candy and popcorn. Their hotdogs are really good. On Tuesdays, they provide smaller hotdogs, but they’re only $5 for Marcus rewards members.

Back in the day, I preferred to show up to the theater at least 30 minutes to an hour early with a good book. I’d buy my ticket, pick out my ideal seat in the theater, and then read my book until my film started. It was a quiet and peaceful time, with no distractions.

Nowadays though, most all theaters reserve seats. It’s not first-come, first-served anymore. I have to go on the Marcus Theatres app and buy tickets at least a week in advance if I want to ensure my ideal seats are available. With a much-anticipated movie, if I don’t reserve tickets the day they’re made available, I might have to wait a couple weeks after it releases to get decent seating. It’s nice that I don’t have to show up super early to snag good seating anymore; I can practically show up right as it’s starting and I know my seats are guaranteed. But I miss the quiet downtime, waiting for my film to start.

Speaking of which, I don’t get to experience quiet theaters anymore because of all the ads they play. When I was a kid/teenager, theaters only played movie trailers before a film. Maybe they might have some film trivia running before trailers start, but that was it. The theater was quiet and peaceful while you waited for your film to start.

Now, we have to sit through ads for cars, ads for banking services, ads for all sorts of things. I just want to watch some trailers and then my film; I don’t need insurance ads shoved in my face on the giant screen.

Also, it feels like so many films are being crammed into time slots that I can’t show up early for my movie anymore. If I get there 30 minutes early, there’s still a film ongoing in my theater room. It ends maybe 15 minutes before mine starts, then I have to wait outside for the cleaning crew to run through the theater first before I’m allowed in. Then I get maybe 5-10 minutes to relax before my movie starts. It just makes me feel more rushed. The theater used to be my zen place; where I can relax and not worry about anything else in my life for 30+ minutes before a showing. Now I don’t have time to mentally decompress before my film starts.

Oh damn, I’m starting on the Boomer habit of complaining about Zoomer culture when it’s actually Alpha culture.

It feels like yesterday, Boomers were complaining about how annoying millennial kids were, when we were actually adults in our 20s/30s at the time. I’m just realizing that was over a decade ago, and now I’m doing the same thing to Zoomers. Someone please stop time before I get any older; I want to get off.

Had to guess on the boomerang. I’ve seen boomerangs but didn’t know that’s what they’re called nor have I ever posted one.

I’ve never heard of a “boomerang” that wasn’t referring to the Australian tool/toy. I totally guessed on that one too. I don’t post videos to any social media platform, so I was totally out of the loop on that one.

Skibidi toilet? As a 39-yr old millennial, I’m aware that was a thing like a year ago, but I assumed it was a Zoomer meme or something. I can’t get past that captcha.

EDIT: Upon looking at it again, I see it just wants me to type in “what is skibidi toilet” into Google, not answer what it is. Ugh, I’m turning into my Silent Generation/Boomer parents.

It’s my first name and a single syllable of my last name. This is my standard user account that all my family and friends know, so if they want to find me online, they know what to look for.

I used to do private user accounts so I could post things that I didn’t want people in my life to find, but then I realized I just didn’t care to use them. I stay true to myself, even online. Anything I post is what I would happily share with anyone in my life anyway, so there’s no reason for me to maintain multiple accounts anymore.

Also, I’m retired now, so it’s not like I need to watch what I say online. I don’t have to fear my boss finding less-than-professional social media content I’ve posted. My friends are all still working and they get really nervous about broadcasting our chats, like when I’m trying to stream our gaming sessions on Twitch. They sometimes vent about their work, and they’re afraid of their employer finding it. (BTW, I don’t record our game sessions.)

One friend in particular will ditch our game nights completely if I mention it’s going to be livestreamed. I live halfway across the country from him and I don’t even know his employer, but he’s paranoid they’ll somehow stumble across my Twitch stream and recognize his voice or something. I’m lucky if I get 2 viewers all night long, so I’m pretty sure he’s safe.

In the US, pensions have almost completely gone away, in favor of 401K programs. A pension is (typically) a monthly fixed income given by your former employer for the rest of your life upon retiring from a career.

The 401K program is more like a retirement savings account; you contribute a portion of your paycheck toward it each month and your employer will match your contribution up to a certain pre-designated amount. Whatever money is in that account becomes your own personal “pension” that you live off of after you reach retirement age. Instead of your employer putting aside money to pay retired employees, now you’re responsible for setting aside that money yourself, with a little extra contribution from your company.

Employers prefer the 401K program because they invest a little extra money into you initially, but then they don’t have to pay out a pension for the rest of a former employee’s life. So they save money in the long run. Meanwhile, your retirement depends on you being fiscally responsible early in your career instead of expecting a fixed income to cover you later in life.

All right, now I’m convinced you’re just a burner account for my wife. You’re still arguing semantics, distracting with irrelevant information, and are willingly misunderstanding instead of contributing to the actual conversation. Looks like you care more about arguing than having an actual productive discussion, so it’s not really worth my time to try and rehash this in even simpler terms for you.

But I will condede, I meant 90 days, not 30. That was an honest slip of the fingers.

EDIT: Fine, because it’s bothering me how poorly you’re following this discussion, here’s an actual response:

Congress in Iraq 2003 authorized before, rather than after. […]

Irrelevant. My point was that the president can act on his own. Period. That was the whole discussion, from the very start. Congress is not needed. Just because Congress has been consulted with, and approved further action before the president gave the order, doesn’t mean he can’t do it.

You’re trying to say the president can’t send troops overseas into enemy territory without approval from Congress and that is simply wrong. You’ve been quoting the War Powers Act in every thread here, and even corrected me on the 90 days rule, yet you still act like the president’s hands are tied without Congress signing off on everything he does. That’s literally the point of the 90 day rule!

The name of the medal was official. I’m not going to re-litigate the entire subject, but if your point is that there was an aversion to using the word “war” in public, that simply wasn’t so. […]

Okay, let me simplify this for you, since you’re struggling with reading comprehension. Publicly, it was called the Iraq War. Because that’s the term the civilian population latched onto and we couldn’t shake that perception. Same with Vietnam War, Korean War, Gulf War, etc. Not official wars, but the public named them and we didn’t argue semantics with news agencies, lest it ruin our credibility. (Like arguing with trolls about semantics online. Hmm…) We do not have an aversion to using “war” publicly. We actually prefer to use that word publicly.

In an official capacity though (read: behind-the-scenes military documentation/records/discussion/etc.), it’s always been the Iraq Campaign. We do not call it a war because Congress never declared war. It’s literally as simple as that. Our written military history will officially have it documented as a military campaign and nothing more. The medal awarded for participation in the Iraq War is literally called the Iraq Campaign Medal.

The medal you’re referring to in your comment is the Global War on Terrorism medal. Not related to the Iraq War, or any war in particular. It’s a stupid declaration by a former president who wanted to make a statement about standing up to the 9/11 attacks, and award any service member who takes part in this so-called “War on Terror.”

And again, we use the word “war” publicly, so there’s no reason we can’t have it on that particular medal. It’s not referencing a specific military campaign, so it can be named the Global War on Terrorism medal. Refer to the “War on Drugs” comment in my last reply.

I usually don’t have to deep dive into the specifics about these things with civilians

Perhaps an assumption?

An assumption about what? You obviously didn’t serve in the military, or else you would know all this and I wouldn’t have to spell this out multiple times for you. So yes, I’m assuming you’re just a civilian who read a few articles and are now struggling to follow actual information from someone who experienced it first-hand through the military, because it didn’t align with whatever comprehension you took away from the subject.