That way there’zzz alwayzzz more flyzzzz 🪰🪰

All I can offer is sympathy. You’re not alone - we all make this mistake exactly once in life. Never again!

It’s no surprise to me, I am my own worst enemy ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It’s always been to fly. Every time I blow out birthday candles, every time I fix my necklace chain, every time I blow away a fallen eyelash, every time I’ve thrown a penny in a fountain (oh how I miss the mall fountain!).

It never fucking works >:(

Low key, it’s classy stoner music

Also a great soundtrack for schtupping.

Stahp, every time you say that, an Xer develops arthritis in their knees!

Now where’s my aleve…

This morning :)

Trill spots!

I disagree. A theoretical exact middle is a single point within the n-dimensional space that describes mindset. In reality, there’s a pretty wide swath of what’s considered “normal”; it occupies a volume in that n-dimensional space.

I’m on Android and that shirt is definitely blue 🤷🏻‍♀️

Didn’t doug have a green dude too? And he was supposed to be white?

You shouldn’t rob a bank without a plan. You shouldn’t use your tongue to stop a fan.

I see two capital letter Is that have unnecessary serifs.

I love the smell of dittos, it’s unlikely I’ll ever smell that again. I also love the smell of garages.

I hate the smell of food after I’ve finished a meal. Every weekend I make protein blueberry pancakes. The house smells delicious until I’m done eating, and then it feels cloying.

I reaaallly hate the smell of other people, except my husband. I feel like I have an extra strong sense of smell, and I really hate the scalp smell some people have, especially during a humid summer. Nauseating! And forget about it if I can smell your feet through your shoes, I will definitely make some excuse and leave. And body odor, especially from people who don’t use deodorant or shower every day. I know that’s a personal choice and I should be tolerant but it’s so overpowering, I really hate it.

Now that I think about it, I guess these aren’t too uncommon after all.

My hair dye smells like candy and I love it 💜

Wiper fluid

Do I spot not just one, but two zoom noodles?! 😍

Pointy drippy snooooot! 🖤

I really like the Harry & David’s chocolate covered cherries. Also malt balls, Good n Plentys, Ferrero Rocher, popcorn and peach jelly bellies, and anything with a dark chocolate ganache.

OMG please give that pup a smooch for me!