Jesus Christ why is everyone else giving cooking and safety advice when OP obviously needs therapy

There’s a play by max frisch calledThe fire raiders where exactly this happens. You just made me realize that this book fits what has happened perfectly. Obviously it’s also a metaphor for the political turmoil of that time.

Same man, where do these people get their flashlights

Edit: Thank you for the countless tips on where you guys buy flashlights. But neither am I in the USA nor do I actually ever need a flashlight. I have two at home and I don’t think I ever actually used them for other than fun. I guess the follow up question is what do you do with all those flashlights?

I once read a quote that said meal prepping is the perfect method to ensure that you always have food that is cold, old, and not what you’re in the mood for. And although my love goes out to everyone who does meal prep (it’s great!) this quote put into words a feeling that I always failed to grasp.

I love cooking and I have tried meal prepping in different forms so often. But 90% of the evenings I end up cooking something from scratch that I am actually in the mood for. It feels - whatever the opposite of empowering is. My spouse is happy to eat the same meal 5 times in a row, I have a hard time even with 2 different meals in between. My freezer is full of “prepared” food that we could just dethaw and eat and it ends up being eaten by my spouse or trashed after months of me not unfreezing it.

Like, pumpkin soup the other day! So easy to make a big batch! Efficient and fun! I make enough for 6 portions and we have delicious soup and I am so proud that I made enough to last for a couple of meals but I hate to see that soup in the fridge the next day.

Penne al aspirine

It’s 14 in Germany? Yuck.

Why tough. It’s not like you are a child mentally by age 17 years 11 months 29 days and then BOOM birthday happens and your mind becomes mature all of the sudden.

We assume that kids grow to adults in their teenage years. And we grant them our trust and support them to make decisions for themselves, more and more so.

To me, trying to criminalize sex for teenagers has about the same effect as outlawing abortion. It will still happen, it will just be much less safe.

I want my daughter to be able to come to me about questions and if she decides she’s ready to engage on sexual acts, and be able to do it at home where she’s safe and comfortable and not in a car or outside or a public toilet. I don’t want her to risk getting an STI because she is afraid of buying condoms or asking questions. Her feeling that she is “committing a crime” will not make her safe.

I also want to point out: rape, incest etc are obviously still illegal. And let’s be clear here - sexual assault in minors is awful, but/because it is assault. There is explicitly no consent there. These cases very often happen by grown ass adults that the children know - family members or close family friends. I doubt that a 14 year old will willingly agree to have sex with her dad or uncle - no matter whether this is legal or illegal.

That’s what I assumed. Probably the 12 year old “agreed” to everything.

I’ll be frank here, I remember being a teen in Germany. And let me tell you these were some horny times for some classmates. But at no point, also not looking back, would I have said any of these girls or boys who were sexually active at 14, 13 or even 12, have done so out of pressure or against their will. And judging from what I know of them today, all of them are in secure, healthy relationships and live happy, successful, and fulfilling lives. I’ll also point out that we have sex ed from early on (I remember in elementary), so at the age of consent everyone of us has put a condom on a banana in class at least once. Everyone knows where babies come from, we learn how cycles work, what different kinds of contraceptives there are. Also, just because the age of consent is 14 doesn’t mean you are required to lose your virginity at or by age 14.

Now, you still have to draw the line somewhere. I personally don’t think it should be 18 because it’s just unrealistic to assume that teenagers won’t have sex. Or that they will only have sex with other teenagers. “Gap laws” seem sensible to me. But that’s just my opinion, and it is very influenced by the open culture and a societal distinction between kids and youngsters.

And in this case, he is from a country where the age of consent was set to 16. In Britain it is also 16. So even if I can somehow imagine that it was “mutual”, 19 and 12 is in no way even close to legal in neither country. I don’t really know how this case has made it to court. As I said, I know quite a bunch of people who had sex before the age of consent, but they usually kept that, well, out of the courtroom.

Wait so you had to eat pasta to ease the pain or did he also recommend some pain relief medicine?

I actually wholeheartedly believe in reintegration of convicted criminals in society. I also, maybe even more wholeheartedly, believe that pedophiles need to be open about it so that they can get the help to cope with their urges, and we should not be judgemental about it and stigmatize them ahead of time - the majority of SA offenders who attack minors are not pedophiles. You won’t prevent a pedophile from assaulting a minor by yelling at him for his preferences alone.

Now, that being said, fuck this guy. A misstep? If this happened in 2016 he should still be serving his sentence and definitely not be back on the Olympic team.

Ok, I looked it up: it happened in 2014, so he was 20 then. The age of consent in the Netherlands is surprisingly high (16), so you cannot even claim due diligence or anything. (I am from Germany and over here it is 14, and I have known a couple of 14-18+ relationships, and I could have seen a case where a German 18 year old guy has sexual relations with a British 15 year old and gets in trouble because of this.) He was sentenced to 4 years and served 1. One year for raping a 12 year old girl when he was 20. Wtf? The judges should be ashamed. And as for the Olympic team, shame on them too. This guy should not be representing your country.

I did in another comment above!

Ideologically, I can follow your argument. I just don’t think this fits with the AA philosophy. But that being said, AA is not the one and only or the gold standard for self help groups. It’s not a one size fits all. For me, AA is almost too religious and also didn’t fit into my life back then.

In my early 20s I actually went to AA meetings over the course of probably a year. I kept it very secret, as I did with my very problematic consumption.

It was a group of probably 15-20 people, most aged 40-70. I was by far the youngest there. And let me tell you they would not have appreciated someone coming in who is under any kind of influence, including marijuana (even if it had been legal back then). Some people smoked cigarettes but even that was kind of frowned upon. At some point I mentioned that I have been getting into non-alcoholic beer, and even this was controversial, because I allegedly was masking the behavior and a slip back to alcoholic beer is easy. With that same logic, any kind of coping by using alternative drugs is just redirecting your addiction. In the group there was a strong belief that you are an addict for life and that you have an addictive personality type. And at least to me it’s kind of true. As a side note: Nowadays I am drinking sugary lemonade as a treat (something I would have never done in my 20s) and a fuckton of specialty coffee. For me, this is ok, and it works. But I understand if in their philosophy this is not a good way to go about your problems.

Anyway, at another point someone else asked about benzodiazepines to ease the first transition. This has also been controversial, and while you can get this prescribed when you are becoming sober, everyone recommended not to do it. There seemed to be a strong belief that the best (or only) way to go about your addiction is to rawdog sobriety - don’t mask, don’t cope, face your feelings and pains and reasons for your consuption. Only then can you move on, forgive yourself, ask others for forgiveness, and all of these famous steps.

There is also a clear rule that you come sober. Although this is specifically in regards to alcohol, I am really sure any other mind altering substance that numbs or excites you would have led to you being excluded from this week’s session.

Now, this is my experience with one group outside of the US. Also, I was a very shitty member and should not have been there to begin with. I made a joke, a competition out of it, I’m not even sure why I kept going there. I went there drunk, but no one ever suspected anything. The paramedics hardly suspected anything when I had 3.5%o blood alcohol, they assumed I had a slight migraine. I went to AA with literal booze in my handbag just for the thrill. I did so in university and relationships and with my family, and I was always so successful, I think I just wanted to see how far I can push my behavior before someone notices, before someone stops me, before I fuck up.

I stopped going to AA because I went abroad, but it was just a great excuse to stop going. The truth is I wasn’t ready to stop drinking quite yet. Committing to never having alcohol again when you are missing the one thing in life that you have actually wanted and you’re just 22 is just really hard.

Tl;dr: I would not recommend marijuana use in AA groups, to be honest neither during/before, nor in between meetings. It might not be the community you are looking for if you want to cope with your addiction by using an alternative drug. Whether or not it is a smart or sensible thing to do might be up for debate, but from my very limited experience with AA this would neither be ok for the group, nor go with their philosophy.

You’ve never been to an AA meeting, have you?

You guys have lazy Saturdays???

I think technology is the culprit in another way. It is not that we have too much time now as technology does all the work for you (also, really? Like, how does your life look like? I hardly have 10 minutes to feel bored, these 10 minutes take away from my very limited sleeping time). To me it seems more like we have gotten so used to filling every spare second with information, scrolling, clicking, googling, playing, texting, interacting, communicating. So much so that we have constant dopamine kicks and just cannot stand one second of being not busy. Everyone is shopping with headphones on, listening to music or a podcast. You’re on an escalator? Better pull out your phone. You’re cooking or cleaning? Turn up the volume! For real, when was the last time you just raw dogged a chore?

Now you have been, bro. Now you have been.

Damn you made me remember last night’s dream where I handed someone three bags, one of them contained dirt, one nutella, and one poop. They were all indistinguishable visually and somehow not even via smell. And then I ran away. I don’t know why I was so panicked that they would come after me but I woke up panicking.

Ah, I see, your main issue is specifically with the burying? I assumed you had a problem with any kind of disposal that is not literally using the body for fuel/resources or just trashing it.

If you think about it it is not strange at all, it is maybe one of the very early things that differentiated us from animals. We have a concept of death and time, future and loss. We mourn our dead. And I strongly believe that all the rituals that we have established are not meant for the dead but in fact serve the living. It is a way to cope with the loss of a person. And with the ever same ways - casket, flowers, music, burying - we give the mourning something to do and get distracted so that they don’t lose themselves in the sadness. It feels “right” because it feels familiar, everyone does it this way. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel every time someone dies. How to cope, and how to get rid of the body? Well, there is a societal playbook for that.

There was a dude here on lemmy who actually specialized in American death rites. I think he stopped using lemmy though because of too much negativity, I think people commenting how stupid it is that we don’t just trash our dead on a post was his tipping point. Which is a freaking shame because it sounds like he knew some really fascinating things.

Thanks, that was exactly what Shower Me needed to hear

Yeah my question is just whether it would even work as an insulation or whether it would make the house hotter, or something like that. I’m very sure there are better and more practical techniques to cooling houses. It’s definitely not geoengineering as, well, there is no geo part in this, it was just the best term to describe what technology/aerosol I was asking about.