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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: August 14th, 2023

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  • But were they also not in concrete agreement when you said that you didn’t want kids? Or did they only give a vague response? Just curious what was the initial agreement exactly, and how did they changed their stance, because I’m currently on the market myself and I’ve been pretty upfront that I don’t want kids, and it’s usually my very first question before I proceed to even ask them about anything else. Those who don’t want kids are also generally upfront about it and would agree immediately, whereas others may either give a vague reply or be on the fence, or straight up say they wanted kids - all of which would be an immediate rejection from me. Unless they’re in firm agreement, I don’t proceed any further with the chat.



  • xeddyx@lemmy.nztoAsk Lemmy@lemmy.world*Permanently Deleted*
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    10 months ago

    I agree with what @carl_dungeon wrote. If you’re really that paranoid about your privacy then you shouldn’t even use a cellphone in the first place - never mind a smartphone. Look at Richard M Stallman for example - he avoids cellphones completely for this reason.

    And that’s because there’s no fully-open cellphone out there, and even if there is, it doesn’t prevent your carrier or government from snooping on you, as long as you’re using GSM communications (which is btw very vulnerable). The moment you’ve decided to carry a cellphone around with you, you’ve signed away any expectations of privacy.

    So you either live the Stallman way and avoid cellphones and other modern conveniences, or just say fuck it and use them like everyone else. Otherwise, you’re just a hippocrite, fooling yourself into a false sense of security, because prying open a modern smartphone and checking it’s internals is a completely pointless exercise.



  • My interaction with my neighbors is just to the extent of saying “hi” when we bump into each other and that’s it. They have a friendly dog and I love dogs, so I did offer them that I could dog sit for them if they ever needed it, but they never took up the offer. I’ve spoken way more to their dog than I ever did to them.

    Oh well. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    I believe the era of “love thy neighbour as thyself” is long gone. Back in the day there were many reasons to interact with your neighbors, such as for keeping up with the local news and gossip, borrowing rations when you’ve run out of stuff, or keeping an eye out on your place when you’re away etc. But these days, in the era of the Internet, home deliveries and security cameras, there’s very little need to interact with your neighbors. Which is a bit sad, but I guess that’s the way the world works now.


  • I’m not Indian, but I’ve got a few Indian friends and have attended a few Indian weddings as well. From what I’ve seen, there’s no “traditional” gift - most of the gifts I’ve seen are something which would be useful for the couple or their house, eg a dinner set, clothes, jewelery, maybe even a gadget or appliance. But this really depends on the couple - younger couples these days may explicitly say no to any physical gifts (because they may just end up becoming clutter) and would prefer accepting cash or gift cards instead. So if you’re close to your friend, I’d say ask them upfront what sort of gift they would prefer or if there’s any type of gift they wouldn’t want - and that should help you narrow it down. Beware that they may say not to worry about bringing a gift and just your presence alone would be a gift (I’ve heard this dialog a few times…), but regardless, you shouldn’t back down, and insist that you will gift them something irrespective of what they say, so this should make them back down if they’re being stubborn. :)

    As someone else said, a Polish gift might be a good idea - doesn’t have to be a “useful” thing, but something symbolic to remember you would be nice.



  • xeddyx@lemmy.nztoAsk Lemmy@lemmy.world*Permanently Deleted*
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    11 months ago

    I’m a decade older than you and ask myself the same question. In fact, I’ve never even been in a proper romantic relationship. The closest I’ve gotten to is holding hands, but we never even kissed.

    In saying that, I do fine for the most part, and live a normal life. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t interested in a romantic relationship, but trying to find someone has been next to impossible and stressful, so I tend to just avoid the topic. It does get a bit annoying though when you’re the only single person and you go to a meetup or something and everyone else is coupled up or has a partner. Even more annoying when I hear about people in poly relationships… I’m like… mf I’m struggling to get even ONE person and you have two or three partners, wtf‽

    In all seriousness though, I don’t think I really mind bring single, but practically speaking, it sucks because of the higher living costs. We need more affordable housing made for single folks and we need the government to treat singles with the same rights/perks as married folks.




  • Kinda related for me, is keeping in touch / communication / or just talking in general. It’s the reason why I don’t have any friends left, and that’s because I can’t be bothered to stay in touch with them (and I hate social media).

    At the same time, I’d like to have some friends to go watch movies with, or go to a restaurant etc. I almost stopped going to the cinemas after I lost touch with my old work friends.

    I wish I could have just casual, activity-based friends so there’s no commitment to keep a relationship going and you just meet up for an activity when you feel like it with no expectation of any follow up communications or getting involved in their lives.