I’ll start: My first GF and I didn’t use protection. We used the pull out technique. FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR! I was 19 and could have ruined my life then and there.
Do I have to pick only one? I wasn’t a very bright kid.
- Willingly let someone taze my testicles in exchange for a beer
- Chased black bears off the trail behind our house for no reason, usually with nothing more than a nearby stick
- Skinny dipping in a river known to be filled with leeches
- Got in a drunk argument with a raccoon, which led to my first underage drinking ticket because I refused to be spoken to in that tone
- Became friends with said raccoon and even met its kits once over stale day old bread I brought home from my high school job at Jimmy John’s
- Made a potato gun and accidentally fired it backwards, breaking the glass window in the garage
- Threw M80’s into the water to go fishing Crocodile Dundee style
- Believed a girl I barely knew when she said she was on the pill
There was this prince fleeing his African kingdom that fell shortly after. He contacted me and wanted my help in moving much of his wealth abroad. I decided I couldn’t help him, because I was preoccupied with different stuff back then. To think that I lost the possibility to gain some neat percentage of all this money…
The real life equivalent to this is that time back in like 2012 or some shit when I heard about this new thing called the silk road and bitcoin, and I considered buying bitcoin at like $0.50, but was broke and got my weed locally no problem anyway, so why should I bother?
If I had a time machine…
Only a coward pulls out. /s
