• ResoluteCatnap@lemmy.mlEnglish
    1·
    2 months ago

    Mid threesome i had an idea for a position to try. Well, that idea got me a penile fracture. 0/10 would not recommend

  • grasshopper_mouse@lemmy.world
    1·
    2 months ago

    Took a joy ride on a bulldozer. We built jumps with it and then went over them as fast as that thing would go. No one got hurt and it was a great time, but I think back to how dangerous and stupid it was (no seat belts, one person drove and the rest of us just held onto the cab for dear life, right above the tracks), and realize how lucky we were that nothing bad happened.

  • Tar_Alcaran@sh.itjust.works
    1·
    2 months ago

    When I was a dumb kid, me and other dumb kids found some paving tiles and decided to break them by throwing them in the air. Unfortunately, I was really bad at aiming, caught it on my head and caused permanent spinal damage.

    The doctor recommended strength training, because my muscles would overtaxed by compensating for my wonky spine, which I promptly ignored because, again, I was a dumb kid and girls don’t lift weights. So from age 10 to 19 ish I basically had debilitating neck pains every few months which had me stuck in bed on painkillers and muscle relaxants.

    After 9 years of being an idiot, I started listening to the doctors, lifted weights, and basically never had a sore neck again. The main downside is that clothes shopping is hard now.

  • superduperpirate@lemmy.worldEnglish
    1·
    2 months ago

    I once drove drunk. This was long enough ago the statute of limitations has expired. I shouldn’t have done it, I was really lucky that I didn’t hurt someone or get arrested. For the next 15ish years that I still drank, my limit was 1 drink if I was driving.

    This was before Uber & Lyft were a thing, but I still could’ve made arrangements with the bar manager “look dude your bartenders kept serving me when I was visibly drunk, so let me leave my car here overnight without towing it so I can take a cab home, and I won’t say shit to anyone.”

  • bizarroland@fedia.io
    1·
    2 months ago

    I had two friends, Kat and Tim, who were vibing on each other super hard.

    Both of them were afraid to make the first move.

    One day I got drunk and I saw them kind of flirting and it got the best of me and I just said hey guys, you two are obviously a great match for each other, why don’t y’all go out on a date and see where it goes?

    That in itself wasn’t that bad but in my mildly drunk stupor I didn’t think about the fact that we were all standing in front of all of our friends and they were both shy and because of me saying that they immediately distance themselves from one another and never got together.

    If I had kept my mouth shut and just let things progress normally they might have ended up together.

    Tim’s life really sucks right now and his life would probably be a hell of a lot better if I had just kept my fucking mouth shut.

  • Susaga@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    0·
    2 months ago

    “My hair’s getting a bit long, and my fringe keeps getting in my eyes. It can’t be that hard to give it a little trim, right?” 5 minutes later “…I’m going out for dinner in just over an hour. How quickly can I get to a hairdressers?”

    • RBWells@lemmy.world
      1·
      2 months ago

      My ex had long hair and wanted me to cut it, he pulled it over one shoulder and said “Cut it, just cut it here” and I said “no, it will be slanty” (because he had it pulled over to one side). He insisted, I shrugged and did it .

      “IT’S SLANTY, WHAT DID YOU DO!”

    • earlgrey0@sh.itjust.works
      0·
      2 months ago

      I’m terribly sorry for your loss of mental health. Getting the vile shit of the internet directed art you as an adult is awful, can’t imagine how tough it is for a 16y/o.

      • Cock_Inspecting_Asexual@lemmy.world
        0·
        2 months ago

        Yea… it was pretty rough first discovering discord. When I did the Kitten thing, I pretended to be 14. My dms were FLOODED in mere seconds, and I wish I was exaggerating. In 3 minutes I got 90 different dms from people. All male. All of em wanted to fuck me. I never even listed anything remotely NSFW or romantic in my server intro. I just said “Hey! 14yo here, I like to play roblox n stuff sometimes and cosplay! I’m just here hoping to make some more friends ;w;”