They do think I’m dismissing their opinions and don’t listen to them, it’s interesting you say that. But I don’t feel like that’s true, and I make an effort to clearly acknowledge what they’re saying (not just internalise it). Again, I feel like no matter what I do, they’ll accuse me of these things anyway.
What usually happens is this:
▪︎ They make a point of some kind, expecting a reply from me.
▪︎ I acknowledge the point, and if it’s something I haven’t heard, I try to give it some thoughtful consideration. If it’s something I’m already familiar with, I’ll tell them what I know about it. Either way, sometimes this results in me recognising the merits of their point without any kind of objection or criticism. But, often it’s something I either determine or already know is flawed in some way that should be noted to avoid things going any further; while if that’s the case, I still recognise what they said, so I don’t see how I’m dimissing it or not listening to them. I took what they said seriously and assessed it, gave it thought, but I also found it to have problems that needed addressing. What else could they want?
▪︎ They accuse me of not listening to them or being interested in what they say and dismissing everything.
They seem to conveniently forget all of the times when I only respond completely positively to what they say, or the fact that even when it’s not completely positive, I always try to make them feel heard and point out the positives in what they said.
But, it’s often the case that there is something wrong with what they said and it’s important and can’t just be left unclear/in a position that doesn’t work as it relates to things. From my point of view, this comes from a combination of the person just simply not understanding what I’m saying, and choosing to pursue subjects that I’ve already stated are complex or problematic.
Even if you often try to make that person feel understood and empowered to express their views, everyone’s needs are different. For example, if they tend to feel inadequate or are self-conscious about their achievements/intelligence/etc., you may need to go the extra mile here.
Try to identify all the positive and negative interactions with them (i.e., those in which they get the impression that they are right versus those in which they don’t) and make sure that positive ones greatly outnumber negative ones. If you need, you can try to acknowledge more situations wherein their contribution to a conversation deserves praise, or even simply not point out their mistakes if the question at hand is not critical for you (easiest imo).
They do think I’m dismissing their opinions and don’t listen to them, it’s interesting you say that. But I don’t feel like that’s true, and I make an effort to clearly acknowledge what they’re saying (not just internalise it). Again, I feel like no matter what I do, they’ll accuse me of these things anyway.
What usually happens is this:
▪︎ They make a point of some kind, expecting a reply from me.
▪︎ I acknowledge the point, and if it’s something I haven’t heard, I try to give it some thoughtful consideration. If it’s something I’m already familiar with, I’ll tell them what I know about it. Either way, sometimes this results in me recognising the merits of their point without any kind of objection or criticism. But, often it’s something I either determine or already know is flawed in some way that should be noted to avoid things going any further; while if that’s the case, I still recognise what they said, so I don’t see how I’m dimissing it or not listening to them. I took what they said seriously and assessed it, gave it thought, but I also found it to have problems that needed addressing. What else could they want?
▪︎ They accuse me of not listening to them or being interested in what they say and dismissing everything.
They seem to conveniently forget all of the times when I only respond completely positively to what they say, or the fact that even when it’s not completely positive, I always try to make them feel heard and point out the positives in what they said.
But, it’s often the case that there is something wrong with what they said and it’s important and can’t just be left unclear/in a position that doesn’t work as it relates to things. From my point of view, this comes from a combination of the person just simply not understanding what I’m saying, and choosing to pursue subjects that I’ve already stated are complex or problematic.
I honestly don’t know what they want.
Even if you often try to make that person feel understood and empowered to express their views, everyone’s needs are different. For example, if they tend to feel inadequate or are self-conscious about their achievements/intelligence/etc., you may need to go the extra mile here.
Try to identify all the positive and negative interactions with them (i.e., those in which they get the impression that they are right versus those in which they don’t) and make sure that positive ones greatly outnumber negative ones. If you need, you can try to acknowledge more situations wherein their contribution to a conversation deserves praise, or even simply not point out their mistakes if the question at hand is not critical for you (easiest imo).