I’m asking because it’s a very normal thing to do here.

When you enter a room, but also things like a hairdresser or say a small cafe, you say hello to the people there and say goodbye when leaving. Or when taking a bus, you say hello to the driver and goodbye or thank him when getting off.

I was only recently told by some online friends of mine that this is pretty weird in other places. So I’m wondering if I’m (or my country) is the weird one or them

  • meco03211@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    “How’s it goin?”

    Please no. Don’t ask a question you don’t want the answer to. Then my awkward ass is sitting there knowing I need to say “I’m good. How are you?” despite me not caring and I could be on the brink of a mental catastrophe. For us awkward people, please just say “Hi.”

    Full disclosure, you might get me at one of my more angsty moments and I’ll start talking your ear off about how terrible my life is going and fill in all the unnecessary details (mostly all lies). I’d do this as a punishment for asking a question you clearly didn’t want the answer to in the first place.

    Did I mention I’m awkward?

      • cubedsteaks@lemmy.today
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        1 year ago

        I already do this but still find it annoying when randos do this especially in places like the bus where I can’t easily get away if they try to talk more.

    • StereoTrespasser@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Can you really not tell the difference between a quick “how’s it going” (which should elicit nothing more than a nod) and a boisterous “how’s it going?!” (which should elicit a conversation between acquaintances)?

      • TheHarpyEagle@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        To be fair, it is genuinely difficult for some people to distinguish tone and meaning from a question like that, particularly for those with autism.

    • sirfancy@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Don’t ask a question you don’t want the answer to

      These are called Phatic Expressions, and every culture has some version of them. Unfortunately, they aren’t really going anywhere, so it’s good to familiarize yourself with which questions in different cultures don’t require a response matching the question. A good example, as Tom mentions, is the famous “y’alright?” in the UK. They aren’t asking for a run down of your day, it’s just a societal greeting without any expectations.

      I’d do this as a punishment for asking a question you clearly didn’t want the answer to in the first place.

      They aren’t asking these questions to be unnecessarily nosy, so I’d advise against the passive aggression because people who greet others this way are well-meaning. I highly recommend that video to put these into perspective from the greeter.

      • meco03211@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        So I meant that mostly tongue in cheek. However it’s cool to see there’s a term and use for it. In general I dislike small talk but will usually engage as minimally as possible just to be polite.

        • sirfancy@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          That’s fair. Yeah it’s definitely meant for even less than small talk; “minimally as possible” is the general sentiment behind phatic expressions in the first place.

    • Kerfuffle@sh.itjust.works
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      1 year ago

      Then my awkward ass is sitting there knowing I need to say “I’m good. How are you?”

      You don’t have to say that.

      1. “It goes.”
      2. “Another day, another doughnut.”
      3. “How’s it going?” - people really won’t be surprised if you just don’t answer at all.
      4. “I’ve been worse.”
      5. “If I complained, who’d listen?”
      6. “Hi.”
      7. “Hey.”
      8. “No news is good news.”

      In the context of random people who don’t know each other, it basically just means “I acknowledge your existence”. Acknowledge their existence and you’re good.

    • AgentGrimstone@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      I say that as a greeting but if you really want to answer it, I will listen and respond with a “Not bad…You?” because I’m also awkward.