I’m 50 and still don’t.

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Today fucker. Why you got to remind me I just turned 40. Fuck!

When a little boy in the supermarket called me “sir”… I’m 18

I took four naps on my day off. I’m 32.

When I noticed how excited I get about good quality appliances.

I was at Warped Tour many years ago, talking with randos in the campground. I mentioned which bands I was there to see, and this guy gave me a huge smile and yelled ‘You’re old’ in my face.

When I honestly felt that what my homemade juice/blended smoothie thingy needed more of was celery and that without enough celery it was too sweet and lacked body. That was the day there was no more pretending. Only a year before had I suffered through my first back injury, so they can go together.

Otherwise, the beginnings of it for me were when I noticed warming up for physical exercise took longer. 10-15 minute bicycle commutes used to require no warm up at all. Then I’d feel warmed up only by the end of them. That’s when I knew I was turning the corner.

When my cousin’s babies that used to play in my grandmothers house had children of their own

First time I picked up the laundry basket and my back hurt. I’m careful now to lift with my legs but my back hurts more or less in the same place when it does hurt. My vision’s going too, but that’s genetics, not age related.

When kids born after I could drive started getting their licenses. That’s when I knew I was a grown up for real.

when the web became an application platform

Shortly after turning 34, it occurred to me I was closer to my 50th birthday than 18th.

Politicians being younger than me.

At my BF’s cousin’s 18th birthday party, a small family do at the uncle and aunt’s house. The living room was full of people 60+, so as 30 something young people we naturally headed out into the hallway to hang with the cousins and their friends. All these young people barely registered us and just moved aside to let us past, they didn’t even look at us, just carried on talking to each other. We got to the kitchen and looked at each other and just went oh shit, we’re old aren’t we. Grabbed drinks and headed back to the old folk, at least they would speak to us!