For LGBTQ+ folks who want to blend in, what tips or advice can you give?

  • rockSlayer@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    5
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    4 days ago

    no one is obligated to follow my advice. OP wanted advice, and my advice from lived experience of over 20 years of masking is that it isn’t worth it.

    • Auli@lemmy.ca
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      4 days ago

      What’s masking it though. I mean most people don’t talk about their sexuality.

        • Soulg@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          4 days ago

          I get your point is that you’ve learned not to do it, but yeah that idea is terrible from start to finish. I’m sorry you had to go through it either way

    • Felling_High_Horses@endlesstalk.org
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      edit-2
      3 days ago

      There’s something in data science that you learn at the very beginning, which is that you can’t observe the counterfactual.

      That means you can’t base your data on the possibility of what would have happened had you chosen differently.

      What you’re doing is assuming that your (and other people’s) lives would have been better had they been open about their sexuality.

      I don’t know where you live, but there is no country with a 0% chance of being assaulted/discriminated against for being LGBT+.

      So your assumption that things would have been better is a misguided nostalgia at best, fallaciously wrong at worst.

      Edit: gotta love the Reddit brainless downvote bandwagon that’s going on. Nice hive mind.

      • rockSlayer@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        4 days ago

        I’m aware of all of this, and have not discounted it. I’ve been harmed by the expectation of neurotypical behavior, regardless of whether I mask. I’ve been harmed by het expectations, regardless of masking. I pick and choose who I’m open with about these things within my personal life, but I don’t hide it. You’re making an assumption as well, that masking will prevent harm. There’s a reason why I specifically said that it will lead to anguish, and that’s because it’s not a shelter. It creates a mental prison that will lead to a feeling of isolation.