ie

  • Whenever I see a homeless person I give them a lot of money

  • I don’t say no, I say yes and put my discomfort for anything aside, other people’s wants are more important than my feelings

  • I’m very agreeable

  • I do odd jobs for people, even those who don’t like me, and even if I’m exhausted

  • I feel really guilty if I mess up even slightly on something and I’ll apologise and let them know I am sorry for messing up

  • Constantly battling my instincts and my entire personality feels like it’s being filtered

I still feel bad and like it’s all not enough. It’s as if something’s missing, but I don’t know what that something is. Is this normal? Sometimes I think “fuck it, I’m bad, probably was born bad, why don’t I do other bad things as well since that’s what everyone expects of me now” but I push those intrusive thoughts aside.

  • escapedgoat@lemmy.worldEnglish
    13·
    12 hours ago

    I killed some kittens when I was around 6. I was just playing and it was an accident, but it haunted me for years. To this day I can’t stand hurting animals. I was legitimately saddened the other morning when I stepped on a snail on my front porch.

    But I also know that my actions as a child don’t make me a bad person now. Yes I try to make up for it. Not because I haven’t forgiven myself, but because I know the pain of hurting something.