ie
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Whenever I see a homeless person I give them a lot of money
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I don’t say no, I say yes and put my discomfort for anything aside, other people’s wants are more important than my feelings
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I’m very agreeable
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I do odd jobs for people, even those who don’t like me, and even if I’m exhausted
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I feel really guilty if I mess up even slightly on something and I’ll apologise and let them know I am sorry for messing up
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Constantly battling my instincts and my entire personality feels like it’s being filtered
I still feel bad and like it’s all not enough. It’s as if something’s missing, but I don’t know what that something is. Is this normal? Sometimes I think “fuck it, I’m bad, probably was born bad, why don’t I do other bad things as well since that’s what everyone expects of me now” but I push those intrusive thoughts aside.
There is no such thing as being born bad. Six year olds have no idea the level of impact they’ll have with their actions. That’s why they can’t be prosecuted. They’re not capable of that level of understanding.
You need to get professional help letting go of this.