How many of you consider texting an ex that was an amicable breakup to see if they’d be up for a hookup.

Update : I created a group text with all of them and now we are planning a 30 person Orgy at the Marriott in San Francisco.

Lol jk I just woke up and made eggs.

  • Sean@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    I’mma leave this up since I’m late to the party on this one and there’s already a discussion, but in the future please remember rule #2 and phrase all post titles in the form of a question. This is like Jeopardy! ;)

    On that note, if everyone is on board and copacetic, I say go for it and you deserve some mad props for pulling that off.

    In my experience, drunk texting an ex is never a good idea, but it takes different strokes to move the world.

    • meep_launcher@lemm.eeOP
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      4 months ago

      Awwww beans, thanks for your flexibility!

      From a mod of one community to another- game recognizes game 🏆 thank you for what you do.

  • breadsmasher@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    Don’t ever text an ex while drunk.

    Thought: “I want to text my ex”

    1. Is it past 8pm? Do not text.
    2. Are you drunk? Do not text.
    3. Jack off, then consider again if you still want to text
    4. Did you break up with them, leaving mixed feelings? Do not text, you will hurt them
    5. Did they break up with you? Do not text. You will hurt yourself.
    6. Was it a mutual break up? Then why do you want to hook up? Someone will get hurt.

    Unless you were previously just a fling/FWB, hooking up randomly with a long term ex is the pathway to pain and hurt, for one or both of you. If one of you is still healing, you will just reopen that wound.

    Do not drunk text your ex for a hook up.

  • I'm back on my BS 🤪@lemmy.autism.place
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    4 months ago

    No way, especially not in the past ~4 years. There is only one ex that I consider, and she’s specifically on my to don’t list because it will end in disaster. But damnnn, she’s on the list for a reason. She wasn’t particularly gorgeous, sweet, caring,… particularly anything except physical intimacy.

    The best description I can give is to imagine if before we are born, we all are given a certain amount of points that we can spend on building our character. Our souls can spread points on a spectrum of traits: intelligence, speed, love, charisma, agility, physical beauty, openness, fine motor skills, music production, etc. Al “Tico” Einstein dropped a majority on intelligence. Leo The Vinchi put a bunch on ingenuity and painting. Great Alex put a bunch on military strategy. This girl, my ex, put a few on looks, a few on being annoying, and dumped the rest on sex. She then used a cheat code to get more points and put those on sex too.

    Tho she is quite skilled with certain intimate behaviors, she doesn’t do any one thing mind-blowingly well. Her strengths are her attitude, disposition, and desire paired with a body physically fit enough to actualize them. It’s like imagine your favorite adult actress, but she’s not acting. She is really like that all the time. She could be mad, sleepy, hot, hungry, whatever, it doesn’t matter. You could be in the outside pool of some hotel in downtown Tampa during a lightning storm while she is in the middle of one those passionate borderline PD fights with you where you are seriously asking the universe, “Wtf is happeningggg‽😫” It.doesn’t.matter. She will flip like a switch and be ready to go Riley-Ried-on-ecstasy wild. That’s what this girl is like.

    She’s kind of ruined sex for me since I keep pointlessly comparing everyone else to her. It’s like having a Ferrari for a while, then going back to regular cars. Most of the time you get an Accord, sometimes a Carolla, and when lucky, you get a Nissan Z. Sometimes you get a Mustang, and you can slowly mod it to ride better than the Z. They’re all cool and get you there, but no matter what, it’ll never be anything like the Ferrari. Even when you’re with the Nissan Z and you open the throttle wide, you’ll still wish it rode like the Ferrari.

    Despite that, I still don’t engage (even tho she hits me up ~once/6 months) because all the points she dumped on sex left no points for sanity. She is crazy. Call-the-cops crazy. Use-furniture-to-barricade-yourself-in-a-room crazy. Flinch-when-you-hear-her-open-a-door-followed-by-her-foot-steps crazy. That’s why I have her on the to don’t list. So yeah, I’m prolly going to capitulate sometime soon and meet up with her to “catch up”.

    • Im_old@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      We want a detailed report after please. You write really well and sounds like you’d have quite a few things to write about!

      Or just keep your sanity and tell me to fuck off, idk

  • Oneser@lemm.ee
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    4 months ago

    Don’t listen to everyone else, they clearly don’t know your situation and that it is totally different to theirs. It’s a fantastic idea, and can only end in the situation you are hoping for. Please keep us updated on how it goes :)

    In case that wasn’t motivating enough for you to try this amazing idea and report back to us (v. important) try these sentences:

    • you miss all the shots you don’t take
    • would you rather live the rest of your life not knowing?
    • if no one took risks, we’d have never crossed the seas
  • Eccitaze@yiffit.net
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    4 months ago

    Nope. Been there, done that, turned a relatively amicable breakup into a “you’re a piece of shit and don’t ever speak to me again” situation, ruining another friendship in the process. It’s a horrible, horrible idea.

  • Lvxferre@mander.xyz
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    4 months ago

    I consider this fairly often, since I’m often drunk and plenty of my past relationships ended amicably. And, every single time that I sober up, I’m glad that I didn’t call/text any of my exes.

    So don’t do that. Wait until you’re sober, and it’s daytime where you live, and you’re sexually satisfied, then think again if you should be texting them.

  • SavvyWolf@pawb.social
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    4 months ago

    So I can definitely imagine amicable breakups where there is still sexual contact (e.g. you don’t get along living together, but you’re both fine being fwb).

    But if the first time you’re thinking about it is when you’re drunk, that’s not be a good sign. Sleep on it, then tomorrow think about what you want the “relationship” to look like going forward. If they’re likely to feel the same way (as a person that lives inside your computer, I don’t know them), you can ask them with a clear head (and not in a flirty way). Just respect their answer and don’t be a creep if they say no.

  • somnuz@lemm.ee
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    4 months ago

    I don’t want to sound judgemental or anything, but how about making this decision at the point of your life when you are not getting drunk to even consider this option?

    Because obviously, I don’t know the effects of this decision and no one else here could fully know, but I am sure, the best, most healthy decisions are made from a proper starting position.