“Yeah so for this unmeasurable and ephemeral thing that I myself just called ‘fleeting’ you should totally act non-het and potentially put yourself in mortal danger because I, an internet stranger, said so.”
I get your point is that you’ve learned not to do it, but yeah that idea is terrible from start to finish. I’m sorry you had to go through it either way
I’m aware of all of this, and have not discounted it. I’ve been harmed by the expectation of neurotypical behavior, regardless of whether I mask. I’ve been harmed by het expectations, regardless of masking. I pick and choose who I’m open with about these things within my personal life, but I don’t hide it. You’re making an assumption as well, that masking will prevent harm. There’s a reason why I specifically said that it will lead to anguish, and that’s because it’s not a shelter. It creates a mental prison that will lead to a feeling of isolation.
no one is obligated to follow my advice. OP wanted advice, and my advice from lived experience of over 20 years of masking is that it isn’t worth it.
What’s masking it though. I mean most people don’t talk about their sexuality.
I’m ace, and have hidden it from partners. Needless to say it’s destroyed relationships.
I get your point is that you’ve learned not to do it, but yeah that idea is terrible from start to finish. I’m sorry you had to go through it either way
There’s something in data science that you learn at the very beginning, which is that you can’t observe the counterfactual.
That means you can’t base your data on the possibility of what would have happened had you chosen differently.
What you’re doing is assuming that your (and other people’s) lives would have been better had they been open about their sexuality.
I don’t know where you live, but there is no country with a 0% chance of being assaulted/discriminated against for being LGBT+.
So your assumption that things would have been better is a misguided nostalgia at best, fallaciously wrong at worst.
Edit: gotta love the Reddit brainless downvote bandwagon that’s going on. Nice hive mind.
I’m aware of all of this, and have not discounted it. I’ve been harmed by the expectation of neurotypical behavior, regardless of whether I mask. I’ve been harmed by het expectations, regardless of masking. I pick and choose who I’m open with about these things within my personal life, but I don’t hide it. You’re making an assumption as well, that masking will prevent harm. There’s a reason why I specifically said that it will lead to anguish, and that’s because it’s not a shelter. It creates a mental prison that will lead to a feeling of isolation.