Cordless stick vacuum. Roomba’s don’t do as well with ash because of the spinning brush.
Feel like thats a broom and dustpan situation, both due to likely quantity of ash, and wanting to preserve them with minimal contamination for a urn or just ash spreading disposal.
I would probably never invite them ever again
Don’t touch anything. Leave the area immediately.
Call 911, report the event. Call a lawyer immediately. Right after 911. If there is time I’d notify my immediate family. Ask them to coordinate with the lawyer, and my work, in case I’m not available.
Wait until I have representation before giving a statement to the police. This will be super duper hard to do, but I’ll just keep saying “my lawyer is XXX, I will only make a statement with my lawyer. I’m using my right to remain silent until then”
Have my lawyer contact the next of kin. Work with home owners insurance to iron out any issues.
If not in jail help organize the funeral arrangements with my friends family. Hire biohazard cleaners to clean house, stay outside the house until that’s resolved.
Have a monk or priest come by to bless the house again and put any spirits to rest. (just in case)
Thorough! Jet’s Checklist for Dealing with Spontaneous Combustion sounds like a lore item in a game.
Also very similar to a home defense shooting situation.
Look, I invited him in and we had a wonderful time until dawn. Is it my fault the blackout curtains weren’t closed all the way? Yes. Will Dracula be pissed? Only if he can regenerate from being disintegrated. The relationship was just getting a little too claustrophobic for my liking.
Hi, i’m Saul Goodman and did you know that you have rights? The constitution says so and so do i.
I open my eyes and wake up from the nightmare.
freak out and talk about it with people before it potentially happens to me too and maybe start a livestream so if it does happen it’ll happen on live even though nobody will probably believe it
Google or ask on !asklemmy about the price of vampire dust and how to preserve it.
Scrape the food onto my plate.
Hopefully they’re easy enough to vacuum out of a carpet…
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I would proceed to the kitchen and pour me a whiskey.