It’s driving me crazy. Partner on phone, playing videos and games while the TV is running some YouTube reaction stuff.
I wear noise cancelling headphones all day at home because it’s just too much. The volume is so high I can hear it through a closed door. My PC is in the same room as the TV and I can’t even concentrate on a tutorial on how to do some editing stuff.
Partner is also suffering from depression so every freaking time I begged to please turn the tv off, it’s just ended in a 30 minute therapy session at home on how I can improve myself.
Anyone in a similar situation?
Your partner sounds like a complete asshat. They are being disrespectful of your shared space and gaslight and guiltrip you the moment you try to communicate. Childish behavior.
I would find a new situation.
100%. I was in this same situation for 3 years. It drove me crazy and partner was never admitting fault and always i was at fault. It’s fucked up to do that. OP is better off without
It’s a fair request to turn it down enough so it’s not audible in the next room. In our house if someone wants it quiet and someone else wants it noisy, quiet wins and noisy can use headphones.
Yikes. I’m sorry that you’re in this situation. Is your partner working with someone re his depression and add? Are you getting support? At the end of the day, the only person you can control is yourself.
For me personally I can’t handle that type of behavior. I was working closely with someone like that and i ended up leaving. I felt terrible. Aside from her issues, I really liked her and she was very knowledgeable but working with her caused me very high anxiety and I just couldn’t deal with it.
When an Adult You Love Has ADHD Professional Advice for Parents, Partners, and Siblings - Russell A. Barkley
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I don’t think you have misophonia. Misophonia is where you have an irrational stress/anger response to certain types of sounds. These sounds set off your fight or flight response. My personal triggers are eating noises and dogs drinking water. I don’t make that my partner’s problem though. I think your partner is being inconsiderate and the constant loud noises are overstimulating for you. You obviously need quiet time to recharge/concentrate and your partner is trying to drown the world out. The whole situation sounds unhealthy and unless you both are willing to work on the underlying issues together it will only get worse.
Videogames and YouTube reaction vid can both go to the same singular pair of Bluetooth headphones.
Your partner is not being fair to you. They don’t need to be listening at full volume, either. That’s obnoxious.
Shit, if I wanna plug my guitar in my huge amp and shred guitar all day, do I just tell my gf to deal with it because I’m depressed and have ADD? No, I use amp simulators and headphones.
Partner is also suffering from depression so every freaking time I begged to please turn the tv off, it’s just ended in a 30 minute therapy session at home on how I can improve myself.
Eh, what? What does being depressed have to do with you asking to turn off the TV? I feel like they are using this against you, but there’s not a lot of info to go by.
Perhaps a solution would be to get them headphones, too.
Yeah i have headphones they’re great
Why does he not use those headphones? It is generally accepted practice to make an effort to be quiet when you need noises, not make an effort to endure someone else’s crap.
So I’d say the responsibility is solely on his shoulders to stay fucking quiet. Why not blast all that noise to a headset? Also, depression doesn’t factor into this. If he keeps bringing that up as an excuse you need to address that.
I agree with you, except your use of “his.” OP only used the term partner.
Fair enough
Try to find a middle ground. Use the noise canceling headphones on the TV, so he can hear his TV and it doesn’t bother you. Take turns if need be. Living together is all about finding what works for both of you, and giving up things so both can have a good home life.
Basically, as usual in spousal difficulties, it’s all about talking, and finding what works.
Without wading into the therapeutic too much, is there a way to move your PC, maybe to the bedroom. Or to set your partner up with wireless headphones.
I would say it isn’t so important to put a label on either of you as it is to find a workable solution. So frame your approach in these terms, make a schedule for headphone time, don’t engage in the at home therapy. Other than that, look for somebody who knows both of you better than me or anybody else here. The advice is probably going to be better.
How long have you been together? How long since you moved in together?
